The Sand Which Generation

Sand Which Generation

The rise of the Sand Which Generation

Just the other day I came across a blog written by the late Kirk Matthews about the sand which generation. The sand which generation is described as the generation that has to take care of their elderly parents and raise young children at the same time. Another way of describing it is when an adult child becomes a parent to their elderly parent. In the United States 1 in 8 Americans are presently living in the sand which generation scenario.

Carol Abaya defines the term sand which generation in 3 separate categories or 3 different sand which’s:
1) Traditional: Those sand which’d between aging parents who need care and help their own children
2) Club Sand which: Those in their 50’s and 60’s, sand which between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren or those in their 30’s and 40’s with young children, aging parents, and grandparents.
3) Open faced: Anyone else involved in elder care. reported that 47% adults in their 40’s and 50’s have a parent who is 65 and older and are raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child.

IPAS marketing states that 15% of middle aged adults provide financial support to both an aging parent and a child. Another resource states that 38% of caregivers say that both their children and parents rely on them not just financial help but emotional support as well.

With the high cost of living in Hawaii both spouses usually need to work in order to make ends meet. What does this mean for middle aged adult children who end up caring for their elderly parents? It means that they have to think of creative ways to support their life style and care for those that they love.

There are several options such as private caregiving. A private caregiving company will offer a registered nurse or certified nurse to come into the home and care for a senior. Private caregiving services start anywhere from $15-$20 per hour with a 2hour minimum for services. This option is good for seniors who are most comfortable in their own home setting.
Another option would be adult day care. Adult day care has a similar concept as a child day care, you drop your elderly parent off in the morning and you pick them up in the afternoon when you are done with work. Adult day care offers various activities, meals, and snacks throughout the day. Some adult day cares actually have a multigenerational theme. The multigenerational adult day care will usually have a preschool that is located on the same property as the adult day care. Sometime during the week seniors get to interact with the preschool aged children. The cost of adult day care starts at $650 per month.

When I was pregnant to my youngest child I just graduated from college. My husband and I both agreed that the best thing for us to do in order to support our growing family was for me to stay home and focus on caring for the family. That move left us living on one income. A mother giving up her career in to be a stay at home mom seems to be more common than giving up a job to care for an elderly parent. There is little compensation that anyone receives from caring for their parents. In some case adult children become so financially burdened they end up having to go back to work and find other ways of caring for their loved one.
Adult residential care home would be another alternative. For those that are not able to care for their parents in their own home, or who are looking for 24hour assistance for their loved one. A care home offers medication management, assistance with bathing, meal preparation, transportation and scheduling of doctor’s appointments. Services are offered in a private home where they will be treated just like family.

If you or someone you know is in the sand which generation situation and is becoming burnt out and need help contact Ku’unani De Monte at 808-425-5101 or